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 Something That I Learn From
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DARIPADA Abu Musa Al-Asy'ar mengenai seorang Arab Badawi yang bertanya kepada Rasulullah. Katanya: “Ya Rasulullah, manakah antara tiga orang ini yang berjuang fi sabilillah: Orang berjuang kerana ingin mendapat harta rampasan perang, orang berjuang untuk kemasyhuran atau orang berjuang untuk menunjukkan keberanian.”
Baginda menjawab: “Barang siapa berjuang untuk mendaulatkan kalimah Allah itulah orang yang berjuang fi sabilillah.” (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)
Hadis di atas menjelaskan dalam apa saja kerja hendak dilakukan wajib ikhlas dan dilakukan kerana Allah.
Ikhlas bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah untuk dilaksanakan. Bukan semua orang boleh mencapainya dengan senang.
Sesiapa yang menganggap ikhlas mudah dicapai adalah suatu pandangan silap. Sesungguhnya amat payah bagi seseorang untuk membebaskan diri daripada nafsu yang meluap-luap sama ada zahir mahupun batin.
Manusia suka kepada habuan dan pujian. Oleh itu, setiap Muslim mesti mendisiplinkan diri dan berusaha keras untuk melawan pelbagai tipu helah syaitan yang sentiasa melakukan rancangan jahatnya untuk memesongkan niat seseorang.
 CINTA :  (sebelum kahwin)
C = cubit kiri, kanan rasa.
I = impian indah ibarat syurga.
N = nikah impian utama.
T = taat setia membawa bahagia.
A = awal dan akhir bersama-sama
 (selepas kahwin)
C = cuka yang dituang pada luka.
I = iblis yang merosak minda.
N = nafsu semata-mata.
T = tuba yang dibalas semula.
A = api dalam neraka.
KASIH :
(sebelum kahwin)
K = kongsi semua suka duka.
A = abang adik, ayang anja.
S = sumpah janji di bibir sentiasa.
I = istana bahagia dah dicipta.
H = hatiku hatimu jua. (selepas kahwin)
K = kaki tangan naik kat kepala.
A = abuk pun tara, nak makan apa??
S = simpati langsung tak ada.
I = ironi membakar jiwa.
H = hidup mati sama je. SAYANG : (sebelum kahwin)
S = sikit-sikit SORRY, sikit-sikit SORRY, mengada!
A = asal free mesti nak jumpa.
Y = you lap me, I lap you!
A = apa saja sanggup diduga.
N = nak itu, nak ini... mesti dapat.
G = gula-gula, coklat, teddy bear hadiah utama. (selepas kahwin)
S = salah sikit kiamat dunia.
A = air tak sedap, basahlah mata.
Y = yang betul dia je.
A = ada takde, bagi anak reti la.
N = nak dilawan, digelar derhaka.
G = gaduh sampai lebam. HATI : (sebelum kahwin)
H = hanya dikau yang daku cinta.
A = air paip pun manis macam gula.
T = tak jumpa sehari boleh jadi gila.
I = igauan indah tak terkira. (selepas kahwin)
H = hantu jembalang lagi sempurna.
A = air mata jadi teman setia.
T = tempat mengadu dah tak ada.
I = ikut hati mati, ikut rasa binasa... nak buat
macam mana?
tetapi yg seharusnya ialah... CINTA C- Cinta sebelum berkahwin, biar sederhana, tak melanggar batas agama
I- Impian rumahtangga dirancangkan bersama (bkn praktikal seblm nikah)
N- Nikah didahulukan pembuka gerbang kebahagiaan T- Timang cahaya mata sbg pengikat kasih sayang A- Amalkan perintah Tuhan, Insyaallah bahagia membawa ke syurga. KASIH K- Kasih berputik dikala pertunangan diikat A- Akad dilafaz cinta berbunga S- Suami disanjung-tinggi I- Isteri disayangi H- Harumlah kasih sepanjang zaman SAYANG S- Sayangkan Isteri kasihkan suami A- Ada masalah, dibincangkan bersama Y- Yang ringan sama dijinjing, berat sama dipikul A- Amalkan hidup bertoleransi N- Nak kekalkan bahagia, itu usaha bersama G- Gaduh sesekali tu perkara biasa HATI H- Hati suami mesti dijaga A- Apatah lagi hati isteri yang mudah tersentuh T- Tanggung-jawab dipikul bersama I- Isteri tak makan hati, suamipun tak cari ganti
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Generally speaking, man is responsible to spend on his wife and children according to his means. There is a direct order for that in the Qur’an as Allah Almighty says, (Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.) (At-Talaq 65:7) Such spending entails a great reward from Allah and there are many evidences for that in the Qur’an and the Sunnah. Responding to the question, Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states the following: There is a great deal of evidence in the Qur’an and the Sunnah to encourage spending on one’s children and describing the virtue of doing so. This includes:
1. Evidence from the Qur’an
Allah says, (But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis.) (Al-Baqarah 2:233)
Allah Almighty also says, (Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.) (At-Talaq 65:7)
And in another verse He Almighty says, (And whatsoever you spend of anything (in Allah’s cause), He will replace it. And He is the Best of providers.) (Saba’ 34:39)
2. Evidence from the Sunnah
There are many reports from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) concerning the virtue of spending on one’s wife and children, especially daughters. For example, Muslim (995) narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, “A dinar which you spend for the sake of Allah, a dinar which you spend on freeing a slave, a dinar which you give in charity to a poor person and a dinar which you spend on your family—the greatest of these in reward is that which you spend on your family.”
It was also narrated by Muslim (994) and others from Thawban, the freed slave of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The best dinar which a man can spend is a dinar which he spends on his children, a dinar which he spends on his riding beast for the sake of Allah, and a dinar which he spends on his companions for the sake of Allah.” Abu Qilabah said, “He started with one’s children. What man earns a greater reward than one who spends on his small children so as to spare them from having to beg or so that Allah may benefit them through him and make them independent?”
In Sahih Al-Bukhari (1295) and Sahih Muslim (1628) it is narrated from Sa`d ibn Abi Waqqas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him, “You will never spend anything seeking the face of Allah thereby, but you will be rewarded for it, even (the food) that you put in your wife’s mouth.”
In Al-Bukhari (55) and Muslim (1002) it is narrated from Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “When a man spends on his family, hoping for reward, that is (counted as) an act of charity for him.”
In Al-Bukhari (1442) and Muslim (1010), it is narrated from Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “There is no day on which people wake up but two angels come down. One of them says, ‘O Allah, compensate anyone who spends’ and the other says, ‘O Allah, destroy the one who withholds.’”
In Al-Bukhari (1418) and Muslim (629), it is narrated that `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: A woman entered upon me and she had her two daughters with her. She asked me [for food] and I did not have anything except one date. I gave it to her and she shared it between her daughters and did not eat any of it herself. Then she got up and left. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) came in and I told him (what had happened). He said, “Whoever is tested with any of these girls and he treats them kindly, they will be a shield for him against the hellfire.”
In Muslim (2630) it is also narrated that `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: A poor woman came to me carrying her two daughters, and I gave her three dates. She gave each of them a date, and raised one date to her mouth to eat it. Then her daughters asked her for more food, so she split the date that she had wanted to eat between them. I was impressed by her action and I told the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) what she had done. He said, “Because of that, Allah has guaranteed Paradise for her, or saved her from the Hellfire.”
In Muslim (2631) it is narrated from Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever sponsors (takes care of) two girls until they reach adulthood, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection (like this)”—and he put his fingers together.
Ibn Battal (may Allah have mercy on him) said: He should spend on himself, on his wife and on those on whom he is obliged to spend without being stingy or extravagant in that, as Allah says, (And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes)) (Al-Furqan 25:67). This spending is better than charity and all other kinds of spending.
DUN CHOOSE BLACK ITS DOESN'T SUIT YOU
 Ada seseorang telah menemukan kepompong seekor
kupu kupu.... suatu hari kelihatan sebuah lubang kecil muncul. lalu,
dia duduk mengamati dalam beberapa jam menunggu calon kupu kupu itu. beberapa ketika selepas itu kelihatan kupu kupu itu sedang berjuang dengan memaksakan dirinya melepasi lubang kecil itu.. kemudian kupu kupu itu berhenti daripada meneruskannya.. kelihatannya dia telah berusaha semampunya dan dia tidak boleh lebih jauh lagi.. akhirnya orang tersebut memutuskan untuk membantunya.. dia mengambil sebuah gunting dan memotong sedikit lubang
dari kepompong itu.
Kupu kupu tersebut keluar dengan mudahnya..namun dia mempunyai tubuh yang kembung dan kecil, sayap sayapnya berkerut..orang tersebut terus mangamatinya kerana dia mengharap bahawa pada suatu saat sayap sayap itu akan mekar dan melebar sehingga mampu menampung tubuhnya, yang mungkin akan terus berkembang seiring dengan
berjalannya waktu. namun.... semuanya tak terjadi.
Kenyataannya.. kupu kupu itu menghabiskan sisa hidupnya merangkak disekitarnya dengan tubuh yang kembung dan sayap sayapnya yang berkerut.. dia tidak boleh terbang.
Sifat baik yang tergesa gesa orang itu menyebabkan dia tidak memahami bahawa kepompong itu merupakan halangan dan perjuangan yang perlu ditempuhi oleh kupu kupu tersebut. lubang kecil kepompong tersebut adalah cara dan jalan tuhan untuk memaksa cecair dalam tubuh kupu kupu tersebut mengalir ke sayap sayapnya. maka dengan cara itulah kupu kupu boleh terbang dan bebas dari kepompong tersebut.
Sebenarnya......perjuangan adalah suatu yang kita perlukan dalam hidup kita.. jika Tuhan membiarkan kita hidup tanpa halangan perjuangan.. itu mungkin akan melumpuhkan kita.. kita mungkin tidak semampu dan sekuat yang sepatutnya yang diperlukan untuk merealisasikan
cita cita dan harapan yang kita impikan.
Tanpa halangan dalam perjuangan Kita mungkin tidak dapat 'terbang'. sesungguhnya Tuhan itu Maha Pengasih dan Maha Penyayang...
Kita memohon kekuatan dan Tuhan memberi kita kesulitan demi kesulitan untuk membuat kita tegar.
Kita memohon kebijaksanaan dan Tuhan memberi kita berbagai persoalan hidup untuk diselesaikan agar kita bertambah bijaksana.
Kita memohon kemakmuran dan Tuhan memberi kita otak dan tenaga untuk dipergunakan sepenuhnya dalam mencapai kemakmuran.
Kita memohon keteguhan hati dan Tuhan memberi bencana dan bahaya untuk diatasi.
Kita memohon cinta dan Tuhan memberi kita orang orang bermasaalah untuk diselamatkan dan dicintai.
Kita memohon kemurahan dan kebaikan hati dan Tuhan memberi kita kesempatan kesempatan yang silih berganti.. begitulah cara Tuhan membimbing kita.
Apakah jika saya tidak memperolehi apa yang saya inginkan.. bererti saya tidak mendapatkan segala yang saya perlukan?..
Kadang Tuhan tidak memberi yang kita minta.. tapi dengan pasti Tuhan
memberikan yang terbaik untuk kita.. kebanyakan kita tidak mengerti dan mengenal.. bahkan tidak mahu menerima rencana Tuhan.. padahal justeru itulah yang terbaik untuk kita..
Sesungguhnya segala yang tersembunyi yang kita tidak tahu...sebaliknya sangat diketahui oleh ALLAH..
p/s:-
~ukhuwah itu indah jika dibina atas dasar aqidah~
 Praying at home or the masjid, and then sneaking out to party at a nightclub. Wearing hijaab around family, and then turning into a fashion diva at school. One person, two worlds, and a desperate struggle to juggle them both. This is the reality which many Muslim youth in the West are living in. We can call them “cultural chameleons,” or describe them as having “split personalities.” Whatever the label, the situation is the same… with often tragic consequences. I’m not just referring to Aqsa Parvez’s devastating death, but rather I refer to the many grievous examples of teens running away from home, getting into drugs, and much more -the worst of which is turning away totally from Islam, rejecting it completely. I am not exaggerating. Those who say I’m being a tabloid journalist or a sensationalist don’t know anything. My father, as a leader within the Muslim community for the last 13 years, has seen it all and continues to deal with such instances on a daily basis. It’s a reality, and those who deny it are either willfully blind or pitifully naive. It is time that we addressed the situation seriously. First there must be awareness of the reality and knowledge of its causes. The next step is to know what to do when faced with it directly (hint: it does NOT involve killing anyone). And finally, we need to know how to nip the problem in the bud - an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. Causes Although each situation is different, there is a general list of what can cause this worst nightmare of any Muslim parent. - Lack of strong Islamic foundation in the home. As with most things, it begins in your own backyard. If you aren’t raising your children as Muslims with a strong understanding of what it means to be a Muslim, then you can’t expect them to be happy about having to follow strict rules all the time. It’s also important to note the difference between Islam and culture. If you don’t pray five times a day, or encourage your kids to pray, yet freak out if a female family member walks out with her head uncovered, then you really need to straighten out your priorities.
- Double standards. Related to the first point, here we’re talking about when parents are setting a double standard for themselves and their children: in public they seek to ingratiate themselves within Western society, to achieve the American dream of big house, fancy car, and being best friends with the Joneses next door; yet at home they are obsessed with their children following cultural practices that aren’t even necessarily Islamic. It should be no surprise, then, when the children follow in their parents’ footsteps and start living a double life themselves.
- Lack of personal understanding/ conviction of Islam. This is another major factor in youth straying from Islam. Again related to the first point - if you don’t have a strong Islamic foundation in the home, then there will be most likely a lack of understanding of what exactly it means to be a Muslim. If you don’t know the reason behind something, how likely are you to do something if you view it as restrictive and interfering? If you tell your children to pray because if they don’t they’ll burn in Hell, then trust me, they won’t be doing it out of love for Allah - they’ll be doing it out fear… and not even fear of Allah, but fear of you. Similarly, if you tell a girl she has to wear hijaab because otherwise she’ll “stain the family’s honour” or some-such rubbish like that, then once she’s exposed to the Western mentality of freedom (and total lack of anything resembling honour) she won’t give two hoots about the hijaab or your notions of honour. On the other hand, if your child has a personal relationship with Allah and knows exactly why we do some things and stay away from others, they will be far more willing to tough it out and continue to obey Allah.
- General teen rebellion. Sometimes, teens can just be idiots. (I’m allowed to say that because I am a teen :D) Common sense is a rare thing amongst youth these days, and it shows… sadly, some take it too far - beyond the streaked hair and pierced bellybutton (hey, as long as it’s covered up by hijaab, be cool with it!) - and make some really bad choices.
- Insecurity. This is something which affects people everywhere, regardless of their race, religion, or even age. The desire to want to “fit in” and become an accepted member of the crowd is human nature - sometimes it can be a good thing; other times it’s not so great. For girls, the issue is often about body image and beauty, which is why hijaab becomes such a struggle. For guys, it can be about proving their “manliness” (by pursuing other girls, or getting involved in ‘tough guy’ activities like drinking alcohol, etc.). In his series “Children Around the Messenger,” Sheikh Hesham al-Awadhi discusses how to prevent insecurities from the outset: build your child’s self-esteem at home and let them know that they don’t need to seek approval from anyone except Allah. Compliment your children, praise them, let them be confident in their faith and in themselves. Tell your son that he’s cool. Tell your daughter that she’s beautiful. Don’t demean them or belittle them; honour them as the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) honoured his daughter Fatimah (radhiAllahu ‘anha) by giving her his sitting place.
- Bad companions. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, this version being Muslim’s)
Undoubtedly, the kind of people your kids hang out with will have a huge influence on them - especially at school, which is what a teen’s life pretty much revolves around. Non-Muslims (and even so-called “Muslims”) who have totally different standards morality-wise will definitely make life difficult for your kid: challenging Islam and belittling all that it stands for. While I know that many will say it’s a great Da’wah opportunity, or that it builds character and can be a way to strengthen emaan, the reality is that not all youth are strong enough to emerge the company of such people unscathed. Sadly, we have lost too many of the younger generations to Shaytaan’s misguided lifestyle, and we can’t use a minority of successful young Muslims to deny that reality. - The “Adolescent” Myth. As covered in a previous MM article, this mentality is one of “I’m young, let me fun and then I’ll be religious when I’m older!” It’s an attitude of irresponsibility, immaturity, and misunderstanding of Islam and the purpose of our lives. By absolving oneself of responsibility, it’s easier for teens to indulge in the haraam without feeling so guilty about it. Thus, it’s obviously very important to instill a sense of responsibility and dutifulness to Allah in our youth - basically, to abolish this kind of mentality.
Symptoms How do you know if your child, your sibling, or your friend is a “cultural chameleon”? It can be difficult to spot it, but however much a kid can try to sneak around, those closest to them can usually figure out what’s going on. Here are some of the symptoms of the double-life syndrome. - Change of attitude - Increased rebellion, aggression, and disrespect are major red flags. If they’re behaving like that towards you, do you think they won’t behave like that towards Allah? In fact, if they are acting like that with you, then already they’re showing their defiance of Allah! Taqwa and good behaviour to parents go hand-in-hand: “And your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents.” (Surah al-Israa, verse 23)
- Shows dislike of Islamic practices (”Yuck, hijaab is so old-fashioned,” “What’s the point of praying? It’s stupid!” etc.) This is particularly obvious in a household that is generally religious, or has more than just a tentative connection to the Deen.
- Secretive, sneaky. It’s important for parents to keep an eye on their kids and know where they are and what they’re doing. If you notice that your child is being secretive, sneaky, and generally deceptive about their activities, then it’s a major red flag that your son or daughter isn’t doing the right thing. This goes for pretty much all families, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, but for us Muslims it means more than just that your kid is with bad company or doing bad things: it means that they’re losing their connection to Allah and to Islam, and this in itself is far worse than whatever sinful activities they’re engaged in.
Solutions An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. Educate your child from a young age, build a strong (but loving) Islamic environment within the home. Make them aware of their identity as Muslims, emphasize pride in that identity. However, we can’t say that prevention is the only thing that we can do - the reality is that even children who were raised in a strong Islamic environment can be “lost” in the Dunya… and this is the reality we have to deal with, not deny. Having said that, here are some practical solutions on dealing with such situations. - Do not react angrily or violently. If you find out your kid is lying to you and is leading a double life, do NOT freak out at them, scream at them, hit them, etc. This will 1) scare them, 2) reinforce their belief that “Islam/ Muslims are evil/ violent”, and 3) not be productive in any way, shape, or form.
- Take some to cool off after you find out. Pray a naafilah (voluntary salaah), and ask Allah to grant you the patience and strength to deal with the situation.
- Talk to them. Ask them what has led them to do the things they’ve done, what their state of belief is (cases differ drastically: some teens still have emaan and are just confused; others go to the point where they deny Islam completely), and how they feel about their situation in general. Try not to judge them; the key is to listen to them and know where they’re coming from. This will give you information on how to best approach them when the time comes to try and “fix” things.
- Serious counselling may be needed. If you feel as though you are unable to deal with the situation correctly yourself, contact a trustworthy, knowledgeable, and understanding Imam or Shaykh in your area (or use the Muslim Youth Helpline). It’s best to have someone involved who not only knows the Islamic perspective of things, but can also relate to and understand your child. There must be someone whom your child can feel comfortable enough to work with/ talk to if they don’t feel they can open up to you (the parents).
In this stage, there has to be a lot of give-and-take, questions-and-answers. If you already had a long talk with your child previously and asked them all those questions, then now is the time to bring forth your feelings. If you haven’t had the talk, then now is the time to initiate it. Counselling is a long and sometimes painful process, and only one step forward towards healing. One cannot expect things to change overnight, and it will be very difficult - all I can say is, trust in Allah and look to the Sunnah for help. Have emaan, taqwa, and lots of patience and forbearance. Constantly turn to Allah in du’a, especially the last third of the night. Indeed, this is something that should be done at all times… it is a means of prevention, as well as part of the path to the cure. http://muslimmatters.org/2008/01/04/cultural-chameleons/
 Al-Khalil ibn Ahmad said:
1. A man who knows and knows that he knows: this man is a learned man, so follow him
2. A man who knows but is not aware that he knows: this is a man asleep so awaken him
3. A man who does not know and knows that he does not know; this is a seeker of guidance, so guide him
4. A man who does not know and is unaware that he does not know: this is a ignorant man so reject him
 Umar bin Khattab (ra) left to people 18 statements of wisdom:
1- When someone transgresses upon your rights (and in doing so disobeys Allah) the way to 'revenge' is to obey Allah in dealing with him. (use reason/rules instead of anger)
2- When something comes to you from your brother, accept it as something good, unless you have overwhelming evidence against it. (hush dhann- thinking good of people)
3- Don't take the word of a Muslim as ill. When there is a way of seeing it positively, take it that way. Find one good interpretation out of 10.
4- Avoid positions that will make others doubt you. (ie disobey Allah publicly, hang out with ppl who don't care, at all time and places)
5- Do not blame others. When you have a secret, its under your control, but when you tell someone else, that control is not yours anymore. People fall under different factors and pressures, so do not blame others.
6- Always take care of the brothers and sisters of truth. Be with them always. They will protect you. They are always a beautiful ornament. In good times you will have ease, and in time of difficulty, you will have protection and support.
7- Be strict and careful in choosing your friends.
8- Always be with the truth even against your own life.
9- Don't indulge in that which is meaningless. Every moment of our life is meaningful- use it to worship Allah subhanawat'ala
10- Don't ask about that which didn't happen. You already have enough to deal with, be practical, deal with immediate problems not the future of ghayb.
11- Don't ask for your need to be fulfilled from someone who wouldn't like your need to be fulfilled. Try to be self-sufficient as individuals and as an ummah, muslims of early generation were poor but didn't lower themselves. Always be with dignity.
12- Don't be neglectful or careless in swearing by the name of Allah. Otherwise, Allah will bring punishment for you.
13- Don't be in the company of fajaar (those who commit major sins openly and don't care) You WILL be affected. Your own behavior changes little by little. Be in the company of people who remind you of Allah.
14- Be aware of your enemy. Be careful, alert, and prepared.
15- Remember death. Visit the graveyards, try to be in kushuu'. If you can't cry, force yourself to. Try to be humble in front of the Creator, the One who gives life and takes it away.
16- Be HUMBLE in acts of obedience to Allah. No one will protect us but Allah. Seek protection from Allah in Allah.
17- Seek tawbaah. Immediately, be determined, have resolve.
18- Consult in your matters those who have kashiyaah (fear of Allah and always conscious of Him), because those who have kashiyaah are the ones that truly have ilm.
 | Pelangi | Aug 12, '08 10:22 PM
for everyone |
| Smile | Aug 11, '08 10:24 PM
for everyone |
 " Life is very interesting; it's up to on you how you live it.
If there is smile in your face, you will always be happy, if not, you always find yourself sad. So be always happy & keep smiling in any condition in life."
by Shekhar Jain --- India
Each day we meet positive and negative people and sometimes we let negative people feed us a lot of negative energy. We need to build our lives on positive energy and stay around positive people. Life is way too short to dwell on negativity SO SPEAK POSITIVE or don't say anything at all.
--- Written in 2008 by Jonlyn H. --- Georgia
Plot Charles Desvallées believes that his wife is unfaithful. To know for certain, he employs a detective. When he learns that her lover is the writer Victor Pégala, Desvallées goes to his house and kills him. Chuck, a bestselling author of romantic fiction, had suspected for some time that his wife Eva was unfaithful, though he had no proof. One afternoon, while Chuck was working on his latest bodice-ripper, Eva mentioned that she intended to go to the movies and would be out for a few hours. As Eva went to the door, Chuck looked at her pensively, then resumed his work. Three hours later, Eva returned, took her coat off and asked Chuck weather he wanted some coffee. When she returned from the kitchen, Chuck asked her to sit down as he wanted to talk to her. "Eva," he said, "I want a divorce." WHY? ====================================== How to Forgive an Unfaithful Wife?
| p/s: something nice to share The Disease of Desires and Passionate Love | | Shaykh ul-Islaam ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullaah | | Extracted from “Diseases of the Hearts & their Cures”
Compiled by Ibraaheem bin ‘Abdullaah al-Haazimee |
Miserliness and jealousy are sicknesses that lead to the soul hating that which would benefit it, and its loving that which would harm it. This is why jealousy was mentioned alongside hatred and resentment in the preceding ahaadeeth. As for the sickness of desire and passionate love then this is the soul loving that which would harm it and coupled with this is its hatred of that which would benefit it. Passionate love is a psychological sickness, and when its effects become noticeable on the body, it becomes a sickness that afflicts the mind also. Either by afflicting the mind by the likes of melancholy, or afflicting the body through weakness and emaciation. But the purpose here is to discuss its affect on the heart, for passionate love is the fundament that makes the soul covet that which would harm it, similar is the one weak of body who covets that which harms it, and if he is not satiated by that then he is grieved, and if he is satiated then his sickness increases. The same applies to the heart afflicted with this love, for it is harmed by its connection to the loved, either by seeing, touching, hearing, even think about it. And if he were to curb the love then the heart is hurt and grieved by this, and if he given is to the desire then the sickness becomes stronger and becomes a means through which the grievance is increased. In the hadeeth there occurs, “Indeed Allaah shelters His believing servant from the world just as one of you shelter your sick ones from food and drink (that would harm them).” [1] In the hadeeth concerning the saving of Moosa reported by Wahb[2], which is recorded by Imaam Ahmad in az-Zuhd, “Allaah says: ‘Indeed I drive away My friends from the delights of this world and its opulence and comfort just as the compassionate shepherd drives away his camel from the dangerous grazing lands. And indeed I make them avoid its tranquility and livelihood, just as the compassionate shepherd makes his camel to avoid the resting-places wherein it would be easy prey. This is not because I consider them to be insignificant, but so that they may complete their portion of My Kindness in safety and abundance, the delights of the world will not attract him and neither would desires overcome him.’” Therefore the only cure for the sick lies in his removing the sickness by removing this blameworthy love from his heart. People are divided into two opinions concerning passionate love: One group says that if falls into the category of intentions and wishes, this being the famous opinion. Another groups says that it falls into the category of imagination and fantasies and that it is a corruption of the imagination since it causes one to depict the one who is loved in other than his true reality. This group went on to say: “And this is why Allaah has not been described with passionate love (ishk) and neither that He passionately loves (ya’shik) because He is far removed from this, and one cannot be praised who has these corrupt thoughts.” As for the first group, then from them are those who said: “He is described with passionate love (ishk) because it is a complete and perfect love and Allaah loves (yuhib).” And it is reported in the narration of ‘Abdul Waahid bin Zayd that He said, “The servant will always continue to draw closer to me, loving Me and I loving him (A’shiquhoo).” This is the saying of some of the Soofis but the majority do not apply this word to Allaah, because passionate love is a love exceeding the proper bounds, as for the Love of Allaah then it has no end and cannot exceed the proper bounds. Passionate love is to be considered blameworthy without any exceptions, it is not to be praised when it is directed towards the Creator or created because it is a love that exceeds the proper bounds. This is also true because the word ‘passionate love’ is only employed with regards to a man loving a woman or child (or vice versa), it is not employed in things such as the love of one’s family, property or status, just as it is not employed with regards to the love of the Prophets and the righteous. Commonly, you will find this word being mentioned alongside a forbidden action, such as loving the woman who is not lawful for him, or loving a child joined with the unlawful glance and touch and other such unlawful actions. As for the love of a man for his wife or slave-girl which leads him out of the folds of justice such that he does unlawful things for her and leaves what is obligatory – as commonly happens – even to the extent that he may oppress his son born of his old wife due to this love of his new wife, or to the extent that he will do things to keep her happy that would harm his religion and worldly life. For example his singling her out for inheritance that she does not deserve, or that he gives her family authority and property that exceeds the limits set by Allaah, or he goes to excesses in spending on her, or he makes unlawful things possible for her which harms his religion and worldly life. This passionate love is forbidden with regards to one who is permissible for him, so how would it be with regards for one who has passionate love for someone who is unlawful or with regards to two men? For this contains a corruption the extent of which none can assess except the Lord of the servants; it is a sickness that corrupts the religion and objectives of the one who possesses it, then it corrupts his intelligence and then his body. Allaah, the Most High, says, Then do not be soft in speech, lest in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.[3] There are some whose hearts contain the disease of desire and whose perceptions are only skin deep. When the object of the desire submits, the sickness is satiated, and this satiation strengthens the desire and pursuit of the object and hence strengthens the sickness. This is in contrast to the one whose objective is not met, for this failure results in removing the satiation that would strengthen the sickness and thereby the desire is weakened as is the love. This is because the person definitely intends that there be action accompanying his desire, for otherwise all his desire would be is just whisperings of the soul, unless there is some speech or looking accompanying this. As for the one who is afflicted with this passionate love but holds back and is patient, then indeed Allaah will reward him for his taqwaa as occurs in the hadeeth: “That the one who passionately loves someone yet holds back, conceals this and is patient, then dies you this, will be a martyr.” [4] This hadeeth is known to be the report of Yahya al-Qataat from Mujaahid from Ibn ‘Abbaas from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam but it is problematic and such a hadeeth is not to be depended upon. But it is known from the evidences of the Sharee‘ah that if one were to hold back from performing that which is unlawful, be it looking, speaking or acting, and he conceals this and does not articulate it so as not to fall into that which is prohibited and he is patient in his obedience to Allaah and keeping away from disobedience to Allaah, despite the pain that his heart feels due to passionate love, (similar to the case of the one who is patient through a calamity), then indeed this person would gain the same reward as those who have feared Allaah and been patient. Verily, he who fears Allaah and is patient, then surely Allaah makes not the reward of the doers of good to be lost.[5] This holds true for the disease of envy and all other sicknesses that afflict the heart. So when the soul pursues that which would anger Allaah, and the person prevents himself from this, fearing Allaah, then he is included in His saying, But as for him who feared the standing before His Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode.[6] When the soul loves something, it will do all that it can to attain it, so the one who does this out of having a blameworthy love or hatred then this action of his would be sinful. For example his hating a person due to envying him and thereby harming whosoever is linked to that person – either by preventing his rights or by showing them enmity, or his doing something that is commanded by Allaah but he does it due to his desires and not for the sake of Allaah. These types of sicknesses are commonly found in the heart. The person can hate something and due to this hate, love a great many things due to mere whims and fancies. As one poet affected by this said, "For the sake of a Sudanese girl he loved Sudan to the point that he loved the black dogs due to his love of her". So he loved a black girl, and therefore loved all types of black even the blackness of dogs! All of this is a sickness in the heart with regards to its imagination, fantasies and desires. We ask Allaah that He eliminate all of the illnesses from our hearts, and we seek refuge with Allaah from evil manners, desires and sicknesses. The heart has only been created for the worship of Allaah, and this is the natural disposition (fitrah) upon which Allaah created His servants as the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, “Every new-born child is born upon the natural disposition and it is his parents that make him a Jew, Christian or a Magian, as an animal produces a perfect young animal, do you see any part of its body amputated?” Then Aboo Hurayrah, radiyallaahu ‘anhu, said, recite if you wish the saying of Allaah, The Fitrah of Allaah with which He has created mankind. No change is there in the creation of Allaah.[7] [Reported by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. So Allaah has made the natural disposition of His servants to love Him and worship Him Alone, so if the natural disposition was to be left as it is without corrupting it, then it would be cognizant of Allaah, loving Him Alone; but the natural disposition does become corrupted due to the sickness of the heart – such as the parents making it a Jew or a Christian – even though this be by the Will and Predecree of Allaah, just like the body is altered by amputation. But even after this it is possible for the heart to return to the natural disposition if Allaah makes this easy for the one who does his utmost to return it to the natural disposition. The Messengers were sent to affirm and re-establish the natural disposition and to perfect it, not to alter it. So when the heart loves Allaah Alone, making the religion sincerely for Him, it will not be tried with this passionate love (directed to him) his love of Allaah Alone, making the religion sincerely for him, did not allow him to be overcome by this, rather Allaah said, Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely he was one of Our chosen, guided slaves.[8] As for the wife of al-‘Azeez, it was because she was and her nation were polytheists that she was afflicted with passionate love. No one, and no one is afflicted with passionate love except that this diminishes his singling out Allaah Alone for worship and his faith. The heart that repents to Allaah, fearing Him, has two routes by which it can remove this passionate love: 1) Repenting to Allaah and loving Him, for indeed this is more satisfying and purer than anything else, and nothing will be left to love along side Allaah. 2) Fearing Allaah, for indeed fear is the opposite of passionate love and removes it. So everyone who loves something, with passion or otherwise, then this love can be removed by loving that which is more beloved to compete with it.[9] This love can also be removed by fearing the occurrence of a harm that is more hateful to one than leaving this love. So when Allaah is more beloved to the servant than anything else, and more feared by him than anything else, then he will not fall into passionate love or find any love that would compete with his love of Allaah, except in the case of negligence or at a time when this love and fear has become weak by his leaving some of the obligatory duties and by performing some of the prohibited actions. For indeed faith increases with obedience and decreases with disobedience, so each time a servant obeys Allaah out of love and fear, and leaves a prohibited action out of love and fear, his love and fear becomes stronger, and any love or fear of anything else besides Allaah will disappear from his heart. The same is true for the sickness of the body: for the health of the body is preserved by the same, and the sickness is repressed by the opposite. The correctness of the faith in the heart is preserved by its like, meaning that which would breed faith in the heart from the beneficial knowledge and righteous action for these are its nourishment as occurs in the hadeeth of Ibn Mas‘ood, reported as his saying and as a hadeeth of the Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, “Indeed every host loves that people come to his table spread, and indeed the table spread of Allaah is the Qur’aan.” So the Qur’aan is the table spread of Allaah. From those things that nourish the heart are supplication at the end of the night, the times of Adhaan and Iqaamah, in his prostration, at the ends of the prayers[10] – add to this repentance. For indeed the one who repents to Allaah and then in turn Allaah forgives him, He will then give him enjoyment for an appointed time. That he takes to reciting the reported adhkaar for the day and at the time he sleeps. That he bears with patience what he is enticed with that would divert him from all of this, than Allaah will immediately aid him with a spirit from Him and write faith in his heart. That he be eager to complete the obligatory duties such as the five prayers inwardly and outwardly for they are the pillars of the religion. That his words of recourse be ‘laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa billaahi’[11] for by them the heavy burdens can be born, horrors can be overcome, and the servant be gifted up the supplication and seeking help from Allaah, for the servant will be answered as long as he is not hasty, saying: “I have supplicated and supplicated but I have not been answered.”[12] That he should know that help comes with patience, that relief comes after anxiety and distress, that after every period of difficulty there follows a period a period of ease.[13] That he knows that no prophet or one less than him was rewarded with a good end except as a result of his being patient. And all praise and thanks are due to Allaah, the Lord of Creation. To Him belongs praise and grace for guiding us to Islaam and the Sunnah, a praise that would suffice His favours to us outwardly and inwardly, as in required for the nobility of His Face and might of His Magnificence. Abundant Peace and Blessings be upon our master, Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and upon his family, Companions, his wives – the mothers of the believers, and all those that follow them in good until the Day of Judgement.
FOOTNOTES: [1] A similar hadeeth to this reported by al-Bayhaqee and it is a da‘eef hadeeth. (Refer to Fayd al-Qadeer).
[2] Wahb ibn Munabbih is a noble taabi‘ee, but this hadeeth is reported from him directly to the Prophet sallal |
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Been years tak nampak pelangi, last weekend selepas hujan lebat........ maka keluar lah pelangi dari "sarangnya"........ I snap this photo sebab terlalu ghairah tengok pelangi dengan jelas...so beautiful.....Subhanallah... 